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Reflections On My Blogging: Keeping It Honest

When you're facing a white, blank screen trying to decide what to write,
it seemed hopeless and hopeful at the same time. It's like watching a
boat with its sails unfurled but there's no wind, yet you wait and then
see the tide turning. You have to stop the distractions. Shut the door.
Wait until your breathing is regular and your mind relaxed, like your
wrists on the table infront of you.

I imagine me looking sideways but not hearing anything. The sounds come
much later. I see the big mass of color first, the greens. Just the
vegetation, moving, not even individual trees, not leaves, just the big
green. Then behind it the blue sky, unfocused and floating. Do not
concern your brain with the details. Forget the words and the
punctuations. But be mindful of the flow, trace the outlines, hear the
motions. Sometime these things don't have a name, give it a name.

How do you give something a name and still be honest? How do you keep
your writing honest?

I had to stand up and pace the room but when I do this I'm immediately
woken up from sleep. Sometimes I forget the names and what it is I'm
writing about. I have to start with a blank page again. This made me a
good typist. Soon I am writing again. I have their names again. But the
weather is turning sour on me. I start to think about the words and the
punctuations. It smells I know. I can hear the sounds this time and
tried to ignore the beating wings of the birds on the trees. It's should
be raining but I don't trust the words anymore.

What's the secret to keeping your writing honest?

I turned around to see me standing before a mirror. I don't know if the
mirror is make believe but I know I see me. I was looking into my eyes
looking into my eyes. What was preventing me from saying exactly what I
wanted to say? I moved the chair and the table away. I took the pen and
paper but laid them down somewhere else. I shook my shoulders. I sat
down and used my words.

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